Escape to Paradise: Metteyya Guesthouse Bali Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Metteyya Guesthouse Bali Awaits! - A Messy, Honest, and Totally Human Review
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I just got back from Escape to Paradise: Metteyya Guesthouse Bali Awaits!, and let me tell you, it was… an experience. Forget those polished travel blogs with perfect prose and airbrushed photos. This is the REAL DEAL. Prepare for some seriously honest opinions, a few rambles, and maybe a tear or two (mostly from laughter).
First Impressions: The Good, The Bad, and the "Wait, What?"
So, accessibility. Let's be real, I'm not a wheelchair user, but I did notice they mention "Facilities for disabled guests." Now, I didn't go digging for ramps and whatnot, but I saw an elevator (yay!), and the front desk was approachable. (Accessibility: Check, with a side of "needs more investigation" - I'd call and ask specifics if this is crucial for you.)
The internet? Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! (Internet Access, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: Double YES!) Honestly, after the flight, that was a lifesaver. I needed to check emails, stalk my ex (kidding… mostly), and post a few envy-inducing sunset pics. The Wi-Fi was…mostly reliable. Sometimes it hiccuped, like a shy Balinese dancer, but hey, it's Bali, not Silicon Valley. (Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas: Mostly good, with a sprinkle of Bali charm.)
The Rooms: My Sanctuary (and My Laundry Pile)
Alright, let's talk rooms. Mine had air conditioning (bless!), a comfy bed, and…wait for it…a bathtub! (Available in all rooms: Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: Basically, everything you could want, except maybe a personal butler to fold my laundry.)
The blackout curtains were a GODSEND. Seriously, jet lag is a beast, and those curtains were my shield against the sun's relentless glare. The coffee/tea maker was clutch for those mornings when I just couldn’t face the world without a caffeine hit. The mini-bar…well, let’s just say it didn’t last long. Those Bintang beers disappear fast when you’re in paradise, okay?
My Unforgettable Spa Experience: The Body Wrap That Saved My Soul (Almost)
Now, let's get to the real juicy stuff. The spa. (Things to do, ways to relax: Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]) I decided to be adventurous and go for the full-body wrap. I walked in feeling like a stressed-out pretzel, and I walked out… well, I walked out with a giant green smear on my arm.
The experience itself was pure bliss. The masseuse (bless her hands!) was a goddess. The aroma of the essential oils, the gentle music, the feeling of melting into the massage table… it was heaven. Then came the body wrap. I’m not entirely sure what was in it – some sort of earthy, green concoction – but as I lay there, cocooned in warmth, I swear I could feel all my worries seeping away.
Okay, so maybe the green stuff was a little messy. I’m pretty sure I left a trail of it in the bathroom afterward. But the feeling of pure, unadulterated relaxation? Priceless. This wasn't just a spa treatment; it was a spiritual awakening (and a good exfoliation). (Body wrap: A messy, transformative, and totally worth-it experience.)
Food Glorious Food (and the Occasional Stomach Rumble)
The dining situation at Metteyya was pretty darn good. **(Dining, drinking, and snacking: A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant) ** The breakfast buffet was a solid start to the day, with a mix of Asian and Western options. The coffee was strong, the pastries were flaky, and the fruit was ridiculously fresh.
I had a few meals at the restaurant, and the food was consistently good. I especially loved the nasi goreng – perfectly spiced and satisfying. The poolside bar was a godsend for afternoon cocktails. The happy hour was a bonus! (Poolside bar, Happy hour: Essential for a proper Bali experience!)
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Safe (Mostly)
In the age of… well, everything… safety is paramount. (Cleanliness and safety: Anti-viral cleaning products, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment) Metteyya seemed to take it seriously. I saw staff cleaning constantly, hand sanitizer was readily available, and the dining setup felt safe. It wasn't sterile, which would have felt weird, but it was reassuring.
Beyond the Basics: The Extras (and the Quirks)
- For the Kids: I didn't have kids with me, but I did see families, and there were "Kids facilities" mentioned. (For the kids: Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal)
- Services and Conveniences: Daily housekeeping was a lifesaver. (Services and conveniences: Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center)
- Getting Around: I used the airport transfer. (Getting around: Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking)
The Quirks:
- The "Shrine" mentioned in the amenities? I'm pretty sure it was just a small, beautifully decorated area, but it added to the charm.
- One minor hiccup: the "Wake-up service" didn't always work. I learned to set multiple alarms (lesson learned!).
The Verdict: Would I Go Back?
Absolutely. Escape to Paradise: Metteyya Guesthouse Bali Awaits! isn’t perfect. It's not a sterile, cookie-cutter hotel. It's got character, a bit of messiness, and a whole lot of heart. It's a place where you can relax, recharge, and maybe even have a spiritual awakening (with a side of green body wrap). The staff are lovely, the spa is amazing, and the overall vibe is just… right.
The Offer You Can't Refuse (and My Honest Recommendation!)
Ready to Escape to Paradise? Book your stay at Escape to Paradise: Metteyya Guesthouse Bali Awaits! and receive:
- A complimentary body scrub with your spa package! (Trust me, you'll need it after all that delicious food!)
- Free breakfast for your entire stay! (Fuel up for your Bali adventures!)
- A guaranteed unforgettable experience! (Okay, maybe not guaranteed, but you'll have a story to tell!)
Click here to book now and start planning your Bali adventure! (And tell them the messy reviewer sent you!)
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Milos Island Paradise: Uncover Kalimera Studios' Hidden Gems
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this itinerary isn't your polished brochure. This is real life, Bali-style, and it's gonna be a glorious, messy, sun-kissed disaster in the best possible way. We're talking Metteyya Guesthouse, baby, the heart of it all.
The "Actually, I Just Woke Up" Bali Adventure: Metteyya Guesthouse Edition
(Day 1: Arrival & Immediate Regret… Kidding! Mostly.)
- 10:00 AM (ish): Land in Denpasar. Okay, let's be honest, it's more like 11:30 AM after the customs line that felt like a slow-motion conga line of sweaty tourists. The heat hits you like a brick wall. Instantly regretting that extra layer I wore on the plane.
- 12:00 PM: Taxi to Metteyya. Pray the driver doesn't take the scenic route (which I suspect is always the route). The chaotic beauty of Bali traffic…honking, scooters weaving like drunken bees, stray dogs lounging in the middle of the road…it's sensory overload, and I love it.
- 1:00 PM: Check-in at Metteyya. The place is even more charmingly ramshackle in person. The garden is lush, the air smells like frangipani and something vaguely incense-y. The staff? Sweet as can be. The room? Okay, let's be real, the "fan" is more like a gentle breeze, but hey, authentic, right?
- 1:30 PM: Unpack. Mostly just throw stuff everywhere. I swear, I'm the only person who manages to make a hotel room look like a bomb went off in a thrift store.
- 2:00 PM: Lunch at a Warung down the street. Ordered Nasi Goreng. It was… amazing. Seriously, the best I've ever had. I'm already picturing myself gaining five kilos just from this trip. Worth it.
- 3:00 PM: First swim at the pool. The water is a perfect temperature. This is the life.
- 4:00 PM: Attempt to read a book. Fail. Too much to look at. Too much to soak in.
- 5:00 PM: Walk along the beach near the guesthouse. Found a gorgeous sunset. It took my breath away. Almost cried, actually.
- 6:30 PM: Dinner at a local restaurant. Had a delicious seafood platter.
- 7:30 PM: The night is young. The guesthouse is offering a yoga class. I did it. It was… humbling. I'm not exactly a yogi, more like a "flail around and hope for the best" type. My balance is atrocious. The instructor was very patient.
- 8:30 PM: Early night. Jet lag is a beast.
(Day 2: Scooter Shenanigans & Spiritual Awakenings (Maybe))
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. Realized I forgot to set an alarm. Already feeling behind.
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast at the guesthouse. Pancakes with fresh fruit. Fueling up for what I hope will be an epic day.
- 10:00 AM: Scooter rental. This is where things get interesting. I've driven a scooter exactly once in my life, and it involved a near-death experience and a lot of gravel rash. But hey, YOLO, right?
- 10:30 AM: Learning to drive the scooter - again. This time, I'm determined. I'm going to master this two-wheeled death machine. After a few wobbles, a near collision with a chicken, and a lot of nervous laughter, I actually did it!
- 11:30 AM: Scooter to the water temple. The ride was an adventure in itself. The scenery is breathtaking. The temple is beautiful. So many tourists. So much Instagramming. I'm not sure I fully get the whole "spiritual" thing, but it's undeniably peaceful.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a Warung near the temple. More Nasi Goreng. I'm starting to think I could eat this for every meal and be perfectly happy.
- 2:00 PM: Back to the guesthouse to get ready for a massage.
- 3:00 PM: Massage at the guesthouse. Pure bliss. All the scooter-related tension melted away. I think I actually drooled a little. Don't judge me.
- 4:00 PM: Lounge by the pool. Reading my book again…mostly looking up at the sky.
- 5:00 PM: Walk to the beach for sunset. The sunset was even more beautiful than the day before.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a local restaurant. Trying to be adventurous. Ordered some kind of spicy curry. My mouth is on fire. Worth it.
- 7:00 PM: Stare at the stars. Feeling overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. This is what life is all about.
(Day 3: The Volcano Hike That Almost Killed Me (Kidding…Mostly))
- 3:00 AM: Wake up. Ugh. Early start for the Mt. Batur sunrise hike. Why did I sign up for this?
- 4:00 AM: Picked up by the tour guide. The drive is winding and dark. Starting to question my life choices.
- 5:00 AM: Start the hike. The first part is easy. I'm feeling good. This isn't so bad.
- 5:30 AM: The hike gets steeper. I'm sweating. My legs are burning. I'm starting to think I should have trained.
- 6:00 AM: Almost gave up. But the thought of the sunrise kept me going.
- 6:30 AM: Made it to the top! The sunrise is absolutely incredible. The view is mind-blowing. The exhaustion is worth it. I never want to hike up again.
- 7:00 AM: Breakfast at the top. Eggs and toast. The best breakfast I've ever had.
- 8:00 AM: Hike back down. Much easier going down.
- 9:00 AM: Back to the guesthouse. Shower. Collapse on the bed. Sleep.
- 12:00 PM: Wake up. Still sore. Still tired. But also, happy.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a Warung. More Nasi Goreng.
- 2:00 PM: Hang out by the pool.
- 3:00 PM: Get a massage.
- 4:00 PM: Nap.
- 5:00 PM: Enjoy the sunset.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a local restaurant.
- 7:00 PM: Early night.
(Day 4: The Day I Lost My Mind (And Found it Again, Hopefully))
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. Feeling a bit melancholy. The trip is already halfway over.
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast.
- 10:00 AM: The guesthouse organized a cooking class. It was fun! Made a delicious meal.
- 12:00 PM: Visit the local market. I got a bit lost in the maze of stalls and the smell of spices. I bought some souvenirs.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a Warung.
- 2:00 PM: Back at the guesthouse. I decided to wander around the nearby streets.
- 3:00 PM: Found a small cafe and ordered a coffee. I spent an hour just watching the world go by.
- 4:00 PM: Walking on the beach.
- 5:00 PM: Sunset.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a restaurant.
- 7:00 PM: I met some people at the beach. We had a great time.
- 8:00 PM: Dancing! I can't dance at all, but I had fun!
(Day 5: Departure…or Maybe Not?)
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast.
- 10:00 AM: Packing. Dreaded packing.
- 11:00 AM: Final swim in the pool.
- 12:00 PM: Final lunch.
- 1:00 PM: Check out.
- 2:00 PM: Taxi to the airport.
- 3:00 PM: Airport.
- 4:00 PM: Realizing I don't want to leave.
- 5:00 PM: Buying a one-way ticket to…somewhere.
- 6:00 PM: Cancelling the flight back home.
- **7:
Escape to Paradise: Metteyya Guesthouse Bali - FAQ (and My Slightly Unhinged Thoughts)
Okay, so... what *exactly* is Metteyya Guesthouse like? Be honest, I'm already picturing Instagram perfection.
Alright, alright, let's ditch the glossy filter. Metteyya? It's… charming. Think less sterile hotel and more… your quirky aunt’s beautifully decorated, slightly dusty house in Bali. The photos? Yeah, they’re pretty. The reality? A bit more… lived-in. The pool? Gorgeous, usually. Sometimes, though, there's a rogue leaf or two. Don't expect pristine. Expect character. And the character? It's fantastic. It's got that Bali magic, that laid-back vibe that just… seeps into your soul. (And sometimes, your mosquito bites.)
The location? Is it actually *paradise* paradise? Or just… Bali-paradise?
Okay, deep breath. Location. Depends what your paradise looks like. It's in Ubud, which is a *vibe*. Think lush rice paddies, monkeys (yes, real monkeys, and YES, they'll steal your snacks if you're not careful!), and temples that look straight out of a movie. Is it *literally* a tropical island deserted on your own? No. Is it a beautiful, inspiring base to explore the island? Absolutely. You can walk to some amazing restaurants and cafes. I had the best smoothie bowl of my LIFE just down the road. Seriously. Life-changing. (And the coffee? Don't even get me started.) But, and this is a big but… expect some traffic. Ubud is popular. Embrace it. Or, you know, take a deep breath and learn to love the scooter life.
What about the rooms? Are they clean? The most important thing, right?
Okay, let's get real about the rooms. Clean? Mostly. I mean, it's Bali. You're not in a gleaming, clinically-sterile hotel. There will be the occasional adventurous gecko (who, let's be honest, is probably keeping the bugs at bay), and maybe a tiny bit of dust in the corners. But the beds? Comfy. The aircon? A lifesaver. The mosquito nets? Essential, unless you enjoy becoming a buffet for those little bloodsuckers. Honestly, I'd take a slightly dusty room over a soul-crushing, corporate hotel any day. The rooms are simple, but they have everything you need. And remember, you're in Bali! You're probably going to spend most of your time outside, exploring the beauty of the island.
Breakfast. Crucial. What's the deal with breakfast at Metteyya?
Breakfast. Oh, breakfast. This is where things get… good. Really good. They offer a selection of options, and they’re all delicious, and the presentation is *chef's kiss*. Fresh fruit, eggs (cooked however you like), toast, Balinese coffee… It’s the perfect way to start your day. Seriously, I'm still dreaming about the pancakes. And the staff? They're lovely. Friendly, helpful, and always happy to refill your coffee. Just… be prepared for the occasional delay. Bali time is a thing. Embrace it. Relax. Enjoy the view. And maybe order a second coffee. You're on vacation, after all!
The staff. Are they friendly? Are they helpful? Because, let's be honest, a grumpy staff can ruin a vacation.
The staff? They're the heart and soul of Metteyya. They’re genuinely lovely people. Always smiling, always willing to help. They’ll remember your name, your coffee order, and probably your life story if you let them. They're not just "staff," they're part of the experience. I had a bit of a scooter mishap (long story, involving a pothole and my complete lack of balance), and they were *so* helpful. They arranged a doctor, helped me get the scooter sorted, and even brought me fresh fruit to make me feel better. Seriously, they went above and beyond. They’re the reason I'd go back in a heartbeat. They are the best!
Okay, let's talk about *the* pool. Is it as dreamy as it looks?
The pool... Okay, the pool. It's… stunning. Seriously. Picture this: turquoise water, surrounded by lush greenery, the gentle sound of a waterfall (okay, maybe it's more of a trickle, but it's lovely nonetheless), and the warm Bali sun on your skin. It's the perfect place to unwind after a day of exploring. I spent hours just floating there, reading a book, and letting all my worries melt away. It's a little slice of heaven. And yes, it's as dreamy as it looks. Maybe even dreamier. (Just watch out for the occasional rogue leaf. And maybe the odd, inquisitive gecko.)
Anything I should pack that isn't obvious? Like, mosquito repellent, obviously.
Okay, beyond the obvious (sunscreen, mosquito repellent, a hat, and comfy shoes)... Here's my insider intel:
- A good book. Seriously. You'll have time to read. And the pool is the perfect place to do it.
- A reusable water bottle. Stay hydrated! Bali is hot. Plus, you'll be helping the environment. Win-win.
- A small flashlight or headlamp. Ubud can be dark at night, and some walkways aren't well-lit.
- Earplugs. Roosters. They are relentless. (Unless you’re a morning person, in which case, you’re golden.)
- A universal adapter. Duh. But I always forget.
- A sense of adventure. Seriously. Be open to new experiences. Embrace the unexpected. And don't be afraid to get a little lost. That's where the magic happens.
What’s the best way to get around Ubud from Metteyya? Scooters? Taxis? Walking?
Scooters are king, but they're not for the faint of heart. Traffic can be… interesting. If you're comfortable on a scooter, go for it! It's the most efficient and cost-effective way to get around. The guesthouse can help you arrange one. Just, you know, take it slow at first.Top Hotel Search
